Error 222: Interspecies Love Affair In Space
by 2olluxampora
Summary: "Are you okay? Maybe you should sit down." Without waiting for an answer, John helped him sit down on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, I'm great. Wouldn't you be, after being a living battery for perigees?"


It had been two perigees since Sollux had gone into surgery to receive all the ports and neural implants necessary to become a helmsman. The implants themselves were pretty cool to someone as tech-savvy as him, especially since the similar ones that civilians could get were crazy expensive. But the slavery to the ship that came with his free ones was far from pleasant.

Ever since he'd been installed, red and blue biowires hooked into the computer system, Sollux had been investigating cyberspace for anything he could use to escape. Updates on how his friends were doing would be good too, but were unlikely to be found.

After awhile of fruitless investigation of Alternian cyberspace, which was almost entirely populated by coldblooded aristocracy far too biased in their view of the empire, Sollux located a network for a planet called Earth that sounded vaguely familiar from schoolfeeding sessions when he was younger. Huh…they must be getting close to it then, if they could pick up a signal.

He sighed, shifting in his confines. They could at least be kind enough to let him use the wireless connections, instead of just letting all his muscles atrophy while trapped like this. Maybe, if he ever got out, he could get all kinds of amplifying cybernetics to make up for his weakness. His daydreams were interrupted by a ping from Trollian. Who even used that anymore? IM programs had been obsolete for sweeps.

EB: hey, i saw you looking through my codes earlier.  
EB: i'm still kind of a beginner, but if you have questions, i could try to help.  
TA: your code2 are 2hiit. ii wa2 ju2t brow2iing the network and 2tumbled on them.  
TA: you're the one that need2 help.  
EB: and how do i know you're any good?  
TA: ii gue22 you don't, but anythiing ii tell you wiill be riight.  
EB: we'll see about that, mystery guy.  
EB: i'm john, by the way.  
TA: ii'm 2ollux.

To his surprise, this John person was kind of funny, the longer they talked. He was able to distract himself from the occasional sharp pains of wires and nanobots shifting inside his body with the conversation, which went on for a few hours, mostly about coding.

EB: well, sollux, i have to go.  
EB: it's really late and i'm falling asleep.  
EB: i'll talk to you tomorrow or something.  
TA: okay.

For him, there was no sleep that night. Just sort of zoning out and continuing to power the ship, constantly. Sometimes, he went weeks without sleeping. It didn't matter, physically. He was enough computer now that lack of things like sleep or food wouldn't kill him.

This time, when John sent him a message, he waited a few minutes before bothering to look at it. What was he trying to achieve here? So what if John was funny and almost painfully bad at coding? He was a planet-bound human who probably wasn't even aware of the existence of trolls. Humans restricted knowledge of inter-planetary interactions to megacorp CEOs and the like, not the general public.

TA: 2o, uh, what do you thiink about aliien2?  
EB: aliens? you mean like trolls? what about them?  
TA: you know about troll2?  
EB: yeah, my dad works at skaiacorp.  
EB: how do YOU know about them?  
TA: ii am one.  
TA: or at lea2t ii u2ed to be.  
TA: ii'm mo2tly machiine now, iit feel2 liike.  
EB: like cybernetic implants? those are so cool!  
EB: i kind of want some, but my dad says i have to wait until i'm 18. he doesn't let me get anything cool, i'm living like it's the 21st century D:  
TA: 2ort of. not the cool kiind though. look up 'alterniian helm2men' and tell me what you fiind.

He waited, sure that John would be shocked. Disgusted, even. There was no way that someone living a comfy, corporation-approved lifestyle would want anything to do with someone, or something, like him. Sollux fussed nervously with his wires, accidentally pulling one particularly thin one out of his arm. Yellow blood beaded on his skin and dripped to the blood, surely containing a few microscopic nanobots.

Sooner than he'd expected, John replied.

EB: so i'm guessing what you're trying to say is that you're one of these helms thingies.  
TA: yeah.  
EB: that must be terrible…is there any way you can escape?

As he was preparing to reply, the chat connection was terminated, and an error message popped into view. Evidently, he'd been caught on a forbidden network. He'd gotten sloppy, forgotten to cover his tracks. Sollux groaned and ran a hand through his hair, starting to input commands that would hopefully get him back to John. Security had been tightened quite a lot on him now though, which led him to suspect that not only had he been caught on the Earth network, someone had noticed the mention of escape.

"Damn it," he muttered, cringing at the mechanical edge to his voice. That was a big part of why he rarely spoke out loud now. He sounded like a cheap android.

Just as Sollux was really starting to make progress on regaining access, a couple of lower-level crew members barged into the helmsblock, not bothering to stop the door from slamming against the wall. He winced. Anyone coming to see him usually meant pain.

"Helmsman 2-612, you've been selected for reprogramming. It's a fairly simple procedure, you'll be back here in no time." Not even giving him time to react, the dull-looking oliveblood who had spoken started disconnecting him, none too gently. More blood fell, nanobots replacing it even as it did. Then, he was lifted out of his chair and carted off to a room, which was aptly labeled 'reprogramming.' After that, Sollux wasn't conscious enough to notice or care what was going on.

He woke up on an odd cushioned platform with blankets on top of him. The room was unfamiliar. Definitely not anywhere on the ship that he knew of. His head was pounding and his whole body felt raw. There was a glass of water on the bedside table, but Sollux didn't trust it enough to drink it. The nanobots would take care of his thirst eventually.

Once the grogginess and confusion had worn off enough for him to be contemplating escape plans as he looked around the room, the door opened. Sollux had never seen a human in real life, but he was pretty sure this was one. They had rather messy dark hair, stunningly blue eyes, and no horns whatsoever. No visible cybernetics either, which was odd.

"Who..?" His voice still sounded like an android's, but a little less so than before. "Who are you?"

The human seemed to find that amusing, since they laughed. They then sat on the edge of the cushioned platform.

"And here I thought you'd instantly recognize me and we'd have a touching interspecies reunion where you'd thank me for rescuing you." They pouted slightly, and Sollux remembered reading somewhere that most humans figured out gender on sight alone, and might find it rude if they were asked for pronouns. But wait…reunion?

"Huh? …John?" Sollux asked disbelievingly.

"There you go. I knew you'd figure it out eventually, even if I did have to give you a huge hint." Alright, well, that eliminated some awkwardness, since he already knew John was male.

"Well, excuse me for not magically knowing despite never having seen or heard you before." He scowled, trying to sit up and being hit with a wave of dizziness. "And what do you mean rescue? Where am I?"

"A small ship heading towards Earth. As soon as you stopped answering and went offline, I told my dad about all of it, and long story short, even though it took a few days, we found and rescued you. That was yesterday, so you've been unconscious for awhile." John was so matter of fact about it that it was almost scary. Sollux tentatively reached for the water, assuming that it was safe now that he knew this was John's doing.

"It's so cool that you're a troll," the human remarked cheerfully. "I've never met one before. Your horns are so cute." Sollux slapped his hand away before it could even get halfway there.

"Don't touch my horns," he said before taking a careful sip of water.

"Okay, okay, jeez." John held up his hands in defeat, looking a bit surprised by Sollux's harshness.

"Sorry, it's just…they're sensitive," he muttered, face heating up yellow. And he was a little scared after all that had happened, but he wasn't going to admit that.

"It's okay," John assured him. "You, uh, can borrow some of my clothes if you want to get dressed. And I can help you. Since you're still really weak and everything."

It was only then that Sollux actually noticed that, under the blankets, most of his clothes were gone.

"Uh, yeah, sure, I guess so," he agreed, continuing to drink the water.

Sollux made an attempt to get out of bed and stand on his own, but stumbled slightly, legs unable to hold him up properly. John steadied him, arms wrapped around his waist. One thing he noticed even more than the little wounds all over his body from the wires was just how close they suddenly were. He buried his face against the shorter boy's beck, trusting him to hold him up.

John reached down and opened a drawer, pulling out some clothes. Thankfully, he managed to keep holding Sollux securely as he did so.

"Are you okay? Maybe you should sit down." Without waiting for an answer, John helped him sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, I'm great. Wouldn't you be, after being a living battery for perigees?" Sollux sighed and let John pull away before taking the shirt from him and putting it on.

John, seemingly intent on doing everything for him, helped him put his jeans on and stand up. When Sollux wavered once again, he hugged him close and all of a sudden, Sollux felt lips pressed to the back of his neck.

"Shit, sorry. I was just…trying to comfort you, I guess. And that happened," John explained sheepishly, arms still wrapped around him.

"It's fine," Sollux muttered. A moment later, he kissed the human. John's lips were unexpectedly soft, making it almost difficult to pull away. "There. Now you can say you've kissed an alien," he said jokingly.

"I'd like to do more than kiss this particular alien," John replied. It was obvious he hadn't thought at all before speaking from the way his whole face went red. They just stared at each other for a moment, dead silent.

"I definitely wasn't expecting you to say that," Sollux finally said, breaking the very awkward silence.

"Uh, yeah, I wasn't either. Let me help you back into bed. You should be resting." The red was slowly fading from John's face as he eased Sollux back down and pulled the blankets up over him.

"If I'm hardly allowed out of bed, I don't know what the point of getting dressed was, but whatever."

"I don't know. I thought it'd make you feel less awkward, especially if my dad comes in." John shrugged, sitting next to him again.

At first, Sollux had been confused about what the word 'Dad' meant, but he still had the brain-internet interface implants from his time as a helmsman, so he was able to look it up easily. Apparently it was a term for lusus.

"Why would your lusus come see me?"

"Because he'd want to see how you're doing, obviously. And to discuss whether you'd like to live with us when we get to Earth."

"Oh, wow." That was all he could say. They were offering that? If he could return to Alternia, he would, but given the fact that they probably had issued an inter-galactic warrant for his arrest and execution, that wasn't exactly feasible. Hiding out with John seemed like the best solution.

"I should go let him know how you're doing," John said. "Just rest, I'll be back later." He stood up, kissing his forehead before leaving. Sollux just watched him go, not entirely sure what to make of the past several minutes. Eventually, he drifted off to sleep again.

The next couple of days passed mostly in a blur like this. Occasionally when he woke up, John was there, or he'd left water. On what he thought was the third day of this, when he woke, John was not only there, but curled around him, sound asleep.

"John? Hey, wake up." He nudged the other gently, noticing just how warm he was and just how perfectly their bodies fit together.

"Huh?" John yawned, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. "When did you wake up?"

"Just now. How long have you been here?" The last time Sollux had been awake was about six hours before, so John could've come in any time since then.

"I dunno. Awhile. Long enough to fall asleep." John yawned again, arms wrapping around Sollux. "We should be arriving today, by the way. You'll get your first view of New Washington. And since I know you're going to ask about Old Washington, it was overrun by the androids in 2217, so now it's the first AI-only community on Earth."

Sollux had no idea why John was rambling on about Earth history from the 23rd century, and he was still too sleepy to care, so he just nodded.

"Your eyes are really pretty, by the way," John added at the end.

"They're not pretty, they're freaky." Sollux scowled, burrowing farther into the blankets.

"Aw, come on. They're not freaky. I love them." When Sollux closed his eyes so that John couldn't look at them, he just pressed an impossibly tender kiss to each pale gray eyelid.

"We should get ready for landing."

So they did. John had to help him shower and get dressed, which was beyond embarrassing, but at least the human seemed to sense that and not say anything to make it worse. He did notice his gaze lingering a little too long on his bulge, which he decided to pretend not to notice, but that was the worst of it.

Once he was dressed in more borrowed clothes from John, feeling a little uneasy about not having his symbol anywhere on him and with still-damp hair, Sollux ventured out of his respiteblock while the human was taking a shower of his own. It was easy to find a window in the little common room down the hall, so he took a seat and gazed out of it, watching as they flew through space, closer and closer to that bluish blur in the distance.

Closer to landing, when Earth was far more distinct than a blur and he could actually start to make out shapes of landmasses, John found him, accompanied by an older-looking human who must be his lusus.

"There you are," John said, sounding relieved. "Why'd you have to run off while I was showering, asshole? I was worried."

"I didn't run off, JN, stop overreacting. I left the block and walked down the damn hall. It's not my fault if humans are too stupid to realize that I couldn't have exactly gone too far, seeing as we're in outer fucking space." Sollux rolled his eyes, even though with his lack of pupils, it was unlikely either of the humans would even notice. It was only after he said it that he realized he'd given John a nickname, like he used to on Alternia. He supposed it wasn't too big of a deal, since they were getting pretty close pretty fast.

The lusus just stood there and let their little spat play out, waiting until he had an opportunity to say something.

"Sollux, I'm John's father, James. I met you a few days ago, but of course, you don't remember, since you were unconscious at the time. I'm sure John has told you all about Washington and how you're welcome to stay with us…" He paused, waiting for Sollux to confirm that.

"Yeah, he did. Um, thank you, for offering." He shifted a bit in his chair, wondering if he shouldn't have made that comment about humans being stupid.

"It's no problem at all. Even if I wasn't planning on offering anyway, John would have been adamant about it. He really enjoys having you around." James offered Sollux a knowing smile, as though they were sharing some kind of inside joke that only he was aware of. Sollux just nodded uncertainly, tugging lightly at the sleeve of his baggy sweatshirt.

John took the opportunity to, instead of sitting on the couch or one of the other armchairs, plop down right next to Sollux in his chair and pull the Gemini onto his lap.

"Dad, he has no idea what you're talking about. We haven't exactly had that conversation yet," John muttered, hugging Sollux close to his chest.

"What conversation, exactly?" Sollux raised an eyebrow, cheeks tinted yellow because he was sitting on John's lap right in front of his lusus.

James smiled slightly and set a folder down on the table before heading towards the doorway. "I'll leave you two alone for now. 45 minutes until landing." John fidgeted, stroking his fingers through Sollux's jet black hair until the sound of his father's footsteps faded away.

"Well, the conversation where I…say that even though we haven't had the chance to get to know each other very much, I like you a lot. And I forget the Alternian word for it, even though my Dad told me, but I was wondering if you'd be interested in being my boyfriend?" John adjusted his glasses, waiting.

"Oh," Sollux said. "Wait a second…" He quickly searched the word boyfriend, making sure it meant what he thought it did. Sure enough, it came up as a synonym for matesprit. And moirail. And kismesis. He was now more confused than he was to begin with. "Which kind?"

"What do you mean which kind? There's really only one. The boyfriend kind. This kind," John was floundering for an explanation, concluding by kissing Sollux full on the lips. Okay, so that ruled out pale. And it was too sweet to be black, so that left red.

"If you mean matesprit, which I think you do, then yes. I'll be your matesprit, JN," he said softly when they both pulled away from the kiss.

"Yeah, that's the word. I knew it started with 'm.' So…good. Boyfriends, matesprits." The conversation veering into awkwardness now, John picked up the folder. "Anyway, we got you all your papers saying you can legally live on Earth, just in case we get asked for them. We probably won't though, since you're with us."

"Alright, cool." Not knowing what else to say, Sollux kissed John again. He kissed back, and for a few minutes, Sollux just melted against the other, enjoying the soft, foreign feel of his lips.

After that, they just cuddled, watching Earth get closer and more distinct. It really was beautiful, just in a different way from Alternia.

New Washington looked similar to his city on Alternia, and Sollux was so wrapped up in looking around that he nearly ran right into someone walking in the other direction. John grabbed his arm, and then actually picked him up, carrying him bridal style the rest of the way to their elaborate, Skaiacorp house. Sollux just snickered, wrapping an arm around him.

John's room was nice too, moonlight filtering in the windows. They ate dinner in bed, watching shitty human movies on the ancient flatscreen TV. John's father halfheartedly reminded them that Sollux was to sleep in the guest room, but didn't say anything when he saw them under the covers together.

"This is nothing like home," he murmured tiredly as the credits rolled at the end of the second movie. "But it still feels homey, if that makes any sense…"

"Yeah, I think it does," John replied, pressing a lazy kiss to his forehead and running his thumb over some of the faint biowire scars on his forearm. "Now go to sleep, loser. We're home, and you need to get used to a diurnal schedule."

Sollux fell asleep comfortably for the first time in a long while, deciding that maybe his stint as a helmsman wasn't all bad. It had led him here, after all.


End file.
